Love and the Future

Ever since I found my soul mate, my life has just gotten better and better. I never thought life could be like this. Happy, healthy and a joy to wake up to. I have wallowed in my own misery for decades now and as of last month I decided to make a change. I found a wonderful woman/trainer, a wonderful barn and a wonderful four legged guy to get my feet wet with.

I have also found a wonderful dressage horse that I will be getting in Aug, keep an eye glued to the page for updates on her as well. Each of these links will take you away from this page, just a warning.

Check the link at the top of the page marked horses for more information of the new/old aspect of my life that I am utterly enjoying.


Mist Walker: Mists of War is up and running!

Book Cover

The book is not only done but now available on Amazon, iBooks and Nook. I should be in physical print by fall. Check back regularly for more details and the remainder of the series.

Follow the main character Rainfeather of Clan Blue Mountain as she is forced to help a group of suspicious elari who neither want nor asked for her assistance.

The group explores the meaning of reality together as they quickly learn that there is no such thing as the whole truth. The dark humor and underlying currents tell us a lot about each group member as they find that the mission that should have been fast and simple, rapidly grows beyond the scope that had been originally intended.


Hells of Our Own Making

Human beings are creatures made up of their experiences or layman’s terms, the things they are taught. Either on tv, books, in person etc… and as these new generations grow with massive over abundance of technology and internet, the lines of culture and societal norms are blurring. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, though I am fairly sure I wouldn’t call it good, but I also wouldn’t call it bad.

It simply is what it is, different.

You see the younger generations may be able to step further outside of what they are taught. Learning to make up their own minds adapt and change in a way that suits their needs and desires. The line is “Change the world one person at a time,” but we all know that is a crock of shit. Change, world change, personal change etc… is going to happen regardless. Hell it is practically impossible to change a household full of people in the same way (good or bad) the idea of changing billions the same way? Yeah I am not one for absolute statements, but I think one applies here…. IMPOSSIBLE!

Yet still, the younger generations may have the option to do what many of us were never taught how to do. They may be able to understand that a behavior they were taught is destructive, and know how to change it.

Of course, on the other hand, they now have more access to things which may not be culturally acceptable, in their homes, neighborhoods, cities, or even countries. For whatever reason. Be it how to make  a bomb (go you little whack job terrorist, perpetuate that stereotype! Woohoo!!! *annoyed stare*), or maybe even just access to a different philosophical bend than in normal for their culture. Though in some countries that has the same judicial implications as that lovely little bomb… *shudder*  (BTW, for you weirdos, this is obviously sarcasm)

The problem with change like this, is that us older folks, with all of our bad habits or behaviors, are still in the positions of control world wide. It is very unlikely that even if we are technophiles, like myself, we will be able to learn the same lessons as those with younger more adaptive minds.The older a human becomes the harder it is for us to change, because chemically our brains change. Things become hard wired, skills and philosophies become deeply ingrained and  the ability to adapt and change easily, is gone. Most of us have not have been taught how to change, and we are not likely to learn.  So we find ourselves trapped, in the hells of our own making. What’s worse is that we find ourselves suddenly  experienced enough to recognize those hells, yet still unable to do anything about them. It feels like being trapped in a glass bowl, no matter how hard we bang on that glass, the ocean outside continues to swim by, utterly unaware or even uncaring about our pretty little bowl. See, mine has brightly colored plastic plants! A little bedazzling and BAZINGA!!!! (BBT)

In many philosophies and mythologies there is some type of purgatory or hell. This is a place where we the damned are tortured and punished for our crimes, but in my experiences, no one is able to punish us better than ourselves. Especially if we believe we deserve it. Was it* really a crime? Not always in the legal sense, but our minds aren’t controlled by socially accepted laws, they are controlled by emotion… thought… experiences. So here is my question…. If we live in the hell of our own making, which we have already said is much more powerful than anything anyone else can impose on us, wouldn’t the hell of someone else’s making be a reprieve?

* Denotes whatever we have done to be damned by various philosophical bends. There is not a human being on the planet that hasn’t broken some philosophical rule or law, so don’t pretend to rule yourself out. You know what you did.

New Beginnings

Any of you reading may or may not know that I have been an artist off and on since I was a very small child. Some of my artwork is decent, while the rest of it is pretty much crap, as the portfolios to the left can attest. This week though I picked up a new hobby. Well, it isn’t entirely new, but hopefully this time it will be more successful, in either case.

The ZBrush program is massive and incredibly daunting, but as 3d programs, or art programs in general go, it is fairly well documented and user friendly. SO far I am having immense fun playing with it. I am only on day three, but I thought I would share today’s project with you. I made several error’s and some of them were utterly unrecoverable, but over all it isn’t all that bad for my first start to finish project in ZBrush. For any of you that know anything about art, ZBrush is a 2.5 to 3d art suite that offers a lot of flexibility and start to finish art and modeling work. While you still need an external rendering suite such as 3D Studio, it is none the less an amazingly powerful application. Oh and it was also used to build all of the characters and models you saw int eh movie Avatar.

Oh, and these are screen captures… I really haven’t figured out how to save the off or anything. For some reason they are a little grainy, *shrug* oh well.


Sometimes things can just be too adorable. I have always been a proponent of the idea that baby anythings (humans, animals etc) are cute only because if they weren’t, we would kill them. This particular puppy however like beat me about the head and shoulders every day with how adorable he is. He draws the attention of just about anyone and everyone that sees him and I am constantly amazed as not only his behaviors, but his ability to melt the hearts (and sometimes minds) of the people he meets. I have not only owned, but worked with many many dogs, and this puppy, while still a puppy and therefore prone to mistakes, is by far the easiest animal I have ever had the privilege to train. I can say that I have finally found the perfect breed for me, and will likely never own anything but a Bouvier from here one out.

but enough yammering, on to the adorableness…



First Full Fledged Haircut

While I have been giving him sani’s and shaving the ears and head a tad while I socialize him to grooming. Today was his first full haircut. He did fairly well considering the fact that he was 8 weeks old. I really don’t recommend trying this for non professional groomers and professional breeders. The puppy can get seriously hurt. Now that my disclaimer is over with, on to the adorable pictures.