Epiphany

20131027-232452.jpgIn this modern world, and possibly even in the older versions of it, we as human being are defined by what we do. When a person does not have a finite idea of what they do or who they are it slowly eats at them until they develop a form of ego crisis. We can even be affected through neural linguistics to alter our own self worth by saying things like “I am a housewife” or secretary or waitress or garbage collector etc…. For years that had been my problem. Always feeling like I have a low self worth because I do not have a well defined identity. Tonight as I tried to sleep I realized that many people would consider me lucky. For if someone were to ask me what I do? I am one of the rare few able to answer by saying “Whatever I feel like doing today.”

You see, I always knew that I was lucky, but it never really occurred to me how much others would love to be able to focus on what they want to do. Many have to focus on what their boss thells them to do, then go home to famlies that have yet another list of thing needed to be done. Hell, some people have to take vacations just to do small projects.

I am a renaissance woman. I am a published novelist, I do 3d modeling and animation, I am an equestrian, Seamstress, photographer, carpenter, muralist and inventor. I am whatever I want to be this day am I am very thankful that I have the ability to be utterly lost, confused and in a constant state of identity crisis!!

Hells of Our Own Making

Human beings are creatures made up of their experiences or layman’s terms, the things they are taught. Either on tv, books, in person etc… and as these new generations grow with massive over abundance of technology and internet, the lines of culture and societal norms are blurring. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, though I am fairly sure I wouldn’t call it good, but I also wouldn’t call it bad.

It simply is what it is, different.

You see the younger generations may be able to step further outside of what they are taught. Learning to make up their own minds adapt and change in a way that suits their needs and desires. The line is “Change the world one person at a time,” but we all know that is a crock of shit. Change, world change, personal change etc… is going to happen regardless. Hell it is practically impossible to change a household full of people in the same way (good or bad) the idea of changing billions the same way? Yeah I am not one for absolute statements, but I think one applies here…. IMPOSSIBLE!

Yet still, the younger generations may have the option to do what many of us were never taught how to do. They may be able to understand that a behavior they were taught is destructive, and know how to change it.

Of course, on the other hand, they now have more access to things which may not be culturally acceptable, in their homes, neighborhoods, cities, or even countries. For whatever reason. Be it how to make  a bomb (go you little whack job terrorist, perpetuate that stereotype! Woohoo!!! *annoyed stare*), or maybe even just access to a different philosophical bend than in normal for their culture. Though in some countries that has the same judicial implications as that lovely little bomb… *shudder*  (BTW, for you weirdos, this is obviously sarcasm)

The problem with change like this, is that us older folks, with all of our bad habits or behaviors, are still in the positions of control world wide. It is very unlikely that even if we are technophiles, like myself, we will be able to learn the same lessons as those with younger more adaptive minds.The older a human becomes the harder it is for us to change, because chemically our brains change. Things become hard wired, skills and philosophies become deeply ingrained and  the ability to adapt and change easily, is gone. Most of us have not have been taught how to change, and we are not likely to learn.  So we find ourselves trapped, in the hells of our own making. What’s worse is that we find ourselves suddenly  experienced enough to recognize those hells, yet still unable to do anything about them. It feels like being trapped in a glass bowl, no matter how hard we bang on that glass, the ocean outside continues to swim by, utterly unaware or even uncaring about our pretty little bowl. See, mine has brightly colored plastic plants! A little bedazzling and BAZINGA!!!! (BBT)

In many philosophies and mythologies there is some type of purgatory or hell. This is a place where we the damned are tortured and punished for our crimes, but in my experiences, no one is able to punish us better than ourselves. Especially if we believe we deserve it. Was it* really a crime? Not always in the legal sense, but our minds aren’t controlled by socially accepted laws, they are controlled by emotion… thought… experiences. So here is my question…. If we live in the hell of our own making, which we have already said is much more powerful than anything anyone else can impose on us, wouldn’t the hell of someone else’s making be a reprieve?

* Denotes whatever we have done to be damned by various philosophical bends. There is not a human being on the planet that hasn’t broken some philosophical rule or law, so don’t pretend to rule yourself out. You know what you did.

Lifes Little Annoyances

ADDED: Not sure which is more annoying, the fact that this program now works on my iPad, but not my iPhone or it not working at all. Since this machine can’t take pictures or easily receive pictures from my iPhone… They may be about the same.

However, may I introduce the Hopeful beginning to the future I began in 1996… Yeah, you ponder that one for a bit…

Meet, Sheldon. In my household we have Anthony DiNozo, Leeroy Jethrow Gibbs, Mr Spock, and Arie. We have had in the past, Shaggy, Fizgig and Al Giordino. Now, for those of you that aren’t serious movie and tv buffs these are characters from on screen. All except the odd German Shepard out, Arie. Still no idea why I named her that. Sheldon is no exception. He is named after Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the tv sitcom “Big Bang Theory.” if you consider yourself an intellectual and like intelligent comedy, you will fall out of your preverbal chair from watching even one episode. I highly recommend it!

My little “Shellie” will be called Dr. Sheldon when he earns a title in front of his name in either obedience or conformation, the former being more likely considering my intended focus with his career. Check in occasionally for updated photo’s and stories of his progression. You can also follow him on Facebook at the a dress below.

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PREVIOUSLY: I used to have this great iPhone app for the wordpress blog that I currently run on this site. Evidently, recently they fixed it so that the app can only be used by those people hosting wordpress on their servers… so looks like I will be changing the web page soon and removing WordPress from my usual web maintenences recommendations for people… nice going marketing… that really blows too I liked being able to take pics with my phone and posting them up on the site, but so much for that.

For now though, if you are interested in following Sheldon The Bouvier, then you will have to follow him on his facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001847708343

Wee

The Militant Hippie:

When does someone go so far left they end up on the right?

By Wendi Porter
03/07/2006 edited 08/19/2010

So, when does a person go so far left they complete the circle to the right? Neil Carpenter, a fellow creative writer brought this topic up in a class Monday night. I go to a very leftist school, where the common thought of non-students is, “I don’t know what they do over there but it must be art.” We have a very energetic if a bit patronizing professor who we both feel falls into the militant hippie category.

Militant Hippie, in this context, is a person that believes so much in the individual right to freedom that they become militant about insuring these rights to everyone. Even if it means, “forcing” those rights on to those who don’t desire them. These types of freedom fighters become so rigid in their desire to make everyone match their personal definition of free that they loose site of the fact that every one has the right to not want that same level of freedom. Which ironically destroys their idea of everyone being free, but they don’t’ see it that way. They see your lack of desire for their level of freedom as ignorance and therefore you must be educated.

Lets define the average American’s idea of liberal and conservative or left and right views(please remember that we are discussing mostly Democratic views, but the overall idea between liberal and conservative is the same). The leftist or Liberal ideology is that every individual deserves the right to freedom, freedom of their own choices, actions, thoughts, and words. While the conservative view is more that the “individual” is incapable of making choices that fit with the “moral Majority” and as such that the “masses” need to make the choices for the “individual.”

So, the militant hippie, varies from the freedom loving person, who wants peace and harmony among all mankind, to the person who seeks social justice and reform in every aspect of human life. Now, social justice is all good and well, and maybe a class or two on the topic in a college setting is great maybe even highly recommended. Every aspect of every degree in a college, however, should not be tainted with this militant outlook, no matter how liberal the school. Forcing a particular political slant down the throat of college students for four years or more is excessive for even the most rigid right winged colleges.

College is a place of learning, of higher education, of soul searching and of social growth. Militant hippies can be found in just about every college campus in the US. After all college is all about the freedom to think and learn. Colleges around the US are great places to learn about the varying ideas of conservative and liberal thought.

When we talk about the left and right views, just about everyone should be able to find someone they know that they consider to be conservative and someone they know that they consider liberal. In general we tend to surround ourselves with people that have at least similar views as ourselves, though even among friends and loved ones you will find variances in opinions.

Often the areas that individuals live in taint their points of view. For example, individuals living in say, Killeen Texas, are likely to have more conservative views than those living in San Francisco California. Their over all conservative natures will be different regardless of their choice of label. When Rich and I moved to Nashville Tennesse, we were what was considered conservative individuals, with a few liberal ideas. Yet when we arrived there we were considered so liberal that we ended up having to come up with a phrase that would remove us from political conversations. Quite often all we had to say was, “I am Californian.” which was often responded to with, “oh, that explains a lot!” I am sure that many conservative Californians are considered Militant Hippies is more conservative states and areas when in fact that is not the case when they are in their own locale.

So as a closing note, it is important to realize that while liberals can be far over the deep end to some people, they are not in their own minds and quite often in their own circles. However… no matter how liberal or conservative we/you are it is important to realize that to avoid the term “Militant” you have to remember that your opinion is yours. And while telling others your opinion is healthy and good for everyone involved, pushing your agenda and onions on others repeatedly is what turns you into the one thing you are claiming to be fighting against in the first place. You go from being the liberal open minded person, to the conservative closed minded person your working so hard to stop. So, use caution and ask yourself how you feel about someone pushing their agenda on you before you push it on another.

Checking In

Assuming anyone actually checks this regularly there are more pics up for the new house. I am evidently seriously allergic to corn though I (and my doctor evidently)am pretty sure it’s in my head and evidently so are my severe chest pains that I have been getting since I was a kid. Oh and there is nothing at all wrong with the severely swollen ankle that occasionally turns a purple color, according to my orthopedic surgeon and I don’t need to keep coming back complaining about it.

I give up on doctor’s or at the very least I am done with doctors for myself. According to my doctor there is nothing at all wrong with me, I have a perfect heart and there is nothing wrong with my stomach and the allergy is in my head. So I don’t plan to go back to any doctor until I am dying… or I get like a serious ear infection again, but then it will be urgent care for my antibiotics and that’s it.

But the point of this post was to tell my non existent reader base (even my husband doesn’t read this unless I tell him to) that the new pics are up of the house. Whatever, enjoy.

The Future on the Horizon

It sucks watching that pot boil, especially when you know the process is going to take weeks and even months. However, that is where I am… sitting here, watching the pot boil, ever so slowly. Though I will admit it’s kind of lending its self to an interesting project. Assuming I can grimace my way through it and force myself to go to the site and take the photo’s regardless of the pain. I had managed some phone camera shots, but then there was issues getting the shots on to this computer then to the site, finally I just gave up and went to the site with the pro camera today.

If your interested in seeing the rest of the shots from the site hop over to the Homeward Bound page. You can find the link to the left and up top. Stay tuned folks, there will be plenty more to see as the weeks grind on.

Playing with Images

Pictorialism is an interesting term. One defiantly designed to be tied to pictures. Whether those are pictures done by machine or hand was very much the point of this particular term. During the time, which was later dubbed Pictorialist, the photographers were very much beginning to see themselves as more than just the typical housewife snapping images for posterity. Real photographers had begun to realize that in order to stand out among the common person with a camera they had to find something that made them unique. Mozart, Rembrandt, Machiavelli and Michelangelo all had unique pieces that would allow them to be remembered throughout time. Since photography can’t create wings no could it mimic words of wisdom, which left it the only truly logical next choice, paintings and drawings.

It was not a far reach for the new field of art attempting to prove it’s self to find methods to mimic the method of creating pictures that had come before it. A simple softening of the image through the use of “soft lenses” or in the post production where they could alter the image through the use of various chemicals.

In the digital world, unlike in the 1900’s, it is much easier to work with post processing via some program such as photoshop etc… to turn our already beautiful (or sometimes only mediocre) images into amazingly complicated works of art. While the photographers in history had to fight tooth and nail to prove that their images, or pictures, were indeed works of art, we in modern times have a slightly less difficult job. I would like to stress though that the idea that photography is not actually art is FAR from a dead argument.

I would like to ask though.. where does something cease to become art and instead just become a bad or ugly image?

For an example, lets look at the above images. Are they art, or is one just horribly out of focus? Most people will say that they are art (least you’d better ;-P). I think the idea of art is subjective, though pretty much any art critic will tell you that it is not. However, lets assume for a brief second that they are right. Lets say that art has to meet a certain preset list of values to be defined as art. Why then may I ask, does the style of art change? I mean, think about it. Van Gosh, his art did not match the style at the time (I am not an art major I am not 100% on this particular fact), yet today his art is just that, art.

Throughout time art has changed and adapted. Critics are renowned for denouncing something as art then having that particular type of art explode and become the predominate style for that time, which in turn forces critics to change their tune and suddenly say that the works they had denounced before are now spectacular works in of themselves.

So I ask a again… What is art?

“Of all things the measure is man, of the things that are, that they are, and of the things that are not, that they are not.”Protagoras


To much, lemme sum up!

no, no let me skip it all… I will bitch later.



Ricky’s keyboard… tell me that’s not bitchin, I dare you!

Okay it is the next day now, I should probably bitch here… This technical class is kicking my butt… I mean I can get decent pictures, but I will admit I barely pay attention to the numbers when I do it. I am a hobbyist trying to get my masters in a technical field… I am seriously regretting my decision. Rich, true to form though is holding me up nicely. allowing me to vent at him and just taking it all in and offering up suggestions when he can. I will admit he has convinced me to keep trying and even to put more time and thought towards the class. He is right though, the are graduate level classes, not the easy gimmie classes like my undergrad work. It is just rough and topping it all off with everything else going on in my life right now and I am barely treading water. I just hope this is the last harshly technical class I have to worry about. I keep telling myself that the rest should be more of composition and such and hopefully less technical crap.


I love nighttime photography. The warm colors and gentle lighting… I think it is probably my favorite.